My boyfriend wants to go down on me but I’m way too embarrassed and worried about the smell and taste. How could anyone really like that?
It’s very common for women to worry about the look/taste/smell of their vulvas and vaginas. I wonder why you’re embarrassed. Women’s vulvas vary as much as their faces. While we all share features, they can be totally unique in size, colour, shape, positioning and hair cover. Google The Great Wall of Vagina to get an idea of the variety (you won’t see hair as casting vulvas with hair would mean agonising waxing!)
Have you ever tasted and smelled your own juices? It’s worth doing, so you know what you’re worrying about. But you need to do it repeatedly to get an idea of how your juices change throughout the month due to hormones, or after certain foods and drinks. Many women find it’s really not that bad and at worst, feel indifferent to the taste and smell.
But no matter what you think, it’s not reasonable to enforce your tastes on anyone else. If you go to a restaurant and order chicken while he orders steak, would you tell him he can’t have steak because you only like white meat? Is it reasonable to prevent him from drinking Guinness because you like wine? What’s the difference? The sheer enjoyment many people experience while giving oral pleasure to their female partner is unique and subjective. It’s a sensual pleasure just like food, drink, art and music. Life is made all the richer by variety in tastes and desires. Imagine a life where everyone had to like the same things!
So give it a try but start off slow. Ask him to begin by kissing and stroking your tummy and inner thighs. Keep your underwear on at first and get used to his mouth on your vulva that way. You’ll feel heat, moisture and breath. Get him to check with you before he goes further, and know that you can stop any time. That may be enough for a few weeks. Then try it naked with him kissing your outer lips without opening them. Get used to how that feels and if you like it, keep going. Your job is to breathe deeply and quiet your worried thoughts. Ask him to tell you he loves it throughout so you can feel reassured. Ask him not to jump to your clitoris until you’re used to his mouth there as it may feel like overload.