services provided

private consultation and sessions for individuals and couples

Human sexuality is a vital part of life. Our ability and desire to enjoy our sexuality changes and fluctuates throughout our lives. These changes can depend on stress levels, health, relationships, work, hormones, past experiences, energy levels and having children, to name just a few.

The idea of searching for help for such personal and private issues can make us feel anxious and vulnerable. Finding the right person and place to discuss our sexual concerns is crucial. Once we feel safe, free of judgment and respected we can begin to move through any pain, damage or change, to a place of healing, pleasure, celebration and empowerment. In order to understand and improve our sexual lives there will usually be a need to work on the context within which we are sexual. The context includes our relationship with self and others, our general health, finances, work, extended family and so on. Therefore it’s important to slow down and care for all of our lives and relationships so that our context is supportive of our sexuality.

A private consultation with a qualified sexologist can set minds at rest and provide the space for further exploration and expression of sexual needs and feelings. As each client is different, an individual approach is taken so that real change can be achieved as quickly as possible.

  • Psychosexual Therapy
  • Sexual Rehabilitation

 

Psychosexual Therapy

Psychosexual therapy invites individuals, couples and those in non-monogamous relationships to address sexual concerns related to performance anxiety, sexual pain, low libido, lack of pleasure or orgasm, sexual boredom, unhelpful use of porn, out of control sexual behaviours, sexual OCD, erectile issues, ejaculatory control issues. Some might want to up-skill, reconnect, try new things such as non-monogamy or kink, deepen intimacy, or find it for the first time. Recover from infidelity or sexual trauma.

Whether you are single or in a couple, sexuality therapy helps you to identify your sexual goals and offers education, resources, tools and techniques to help you meet those goals and ultimately take responsibility for your own sexual growth. The process entails the following steps:

  1. Identify what has brought you to counselling, how you are when you arrive and what changes you would like to see by the end of our work together.
  2. Identify what helps you to feel safe sexually and emotionally as well as those factors that block your ability to meet your sexual goals.
  3. Designing with you a plan that will expand your sexual comfort zone and allow you to eventually meet your sexual goals.
  4. Improve sexual communication and negotiation.

All my work is based on finding sexual pleasure in a healthy, safe and consenting context, based on each individual’s unique tastes and needs.

Once we have established a desired outcome, and what is needed to reach that goal, you will likely be given regular home-play to practice skills. These may be relational or sexual, individual or with your person, depending on what’s needed.

Sometimes I might refer you to another professional if the need arises. For example if a man in his 50’s is worried about his erections, I will require him to get a full physical check-up and have his bloods tested, to ensure there’s no underlying issues causing the problem. Or if a woman who is perimenopausal needs help with HRT, I will suggest she see a specialist. No amount of talk therapy can balance hormones!

All work is carried out fully clothed, and there is no touch between me and my clients at any time. However, if you are given home-play exercises I will require you to share details so that I can gauge progress and tweak the exercises to suit you better.

Clinical work is done in 60-minute sessions.

 

Sexual Rehabilitation Program

This program is designed for individuals or couples who have experienced sexual challenges related to health conditions such as sexual pain, chronic pain, chronic illness or limited mobility. We will aim to reduce your fear of pain, improve sexual confidence, and create satisfying sexual activities individually or for both partners.

You and/or your partner can come for a series of private sessions to identify your goals and design your customised plan which can be followed through with home-based assignments.

Your initial sessions work best as a series carried out close together (at least weekly). At the end of the initial series, you and your partner will have an understanding of your current sexual patterns and what you hope to achieve. You will also explore the best approach to teamwork based on how you communicate. A plan will be created to help you achieve your goals through home-based exercises. Perceived obstacles to progress such as fear, pain, shame, frustration, feeling incomplete or dysfunctional as a partner, will be identified and addressed in the program.

How does the program work? What happens during a session?

I can either work with you individually or with you and your partner to help you understand your bodies, your partnership, and your sexual needs and desires. Through education and assignments geared towards meeting your sexual goals, your sexual confidence and competence will increase and you will be empowered with information and tools necessary to manage your own care and improvement. You will also better understand your partner and have tools for communicating your needs on an ongoing basis.

Together we can work on what feels safe, comfortable and pleasurable now. Then we expand your zone of safety, comfort and pleasure. The following are the steps we will take during your initial clinical sessions:

  1. Identify the goals of each individual and/or the couple as a team
  2. Discuss each partner’s sex and health history and identify any changes that have taken place due to health or other challenges
  3. Map your pleasure and pain patterns
  4. Learn about your past and current sexual patterns
  5. Identify long-term sexual options and short-term steps to get there

The short-term steps mentioned in #5 will be implemented through home-play assignments. Follow-up sessions offer support with the process, keep you on track towards meeting your long-term goals, and allow me to assess your short-term progress in order to ensure your home-play assignments are designed appropriately.

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educational groups and workshops

  • Sexuality & aging
  • Sexuality & menopause
  • How to orgasm
  • How to enjoy oral sex
  • How to enjoy anal sex
  • Rekindling intimacy
  • Sexual intimacy around chronic pain/illness/post injury/post surgery
  • Sexual skills for all people (LGBTQI+, heterosexual)
  • How to date and have safe sex through the ages

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training and support for professionals and trainees

I provide SEX-POSITIVE focus groups for professionals and trainees in order to identify areas of sexual health that they would most like to explore, followed by seminars, workshops and/or talks on pertinent sexual issues.

This training will equip attendees with a better knowledge of their clients’ sexual behaviours and attitudes. They will also expand their ability to ask sexual questions, discuss sexual issues and provide some basic support and advice to clients. Training can also increase comfort levels for professionals around their own and others’ sexualities; thereby lowering stress and anxiety when broaching sexual issues with clients.

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speaking engagements for groups and organisations

Is your healthcare practice, professional organisation, academic program, social club or support group searching for a workshop facilitator or speaker on human sexuality for a conference, meeting, event or class? Contact me with your details in order to select a topic and schedule a date.

 

Some suggested topics:

  • Sexuality and aging
  • Let’s talk about sex (between adults, with our children, to health professionals)
  • Know you sexual anatomy
  • Our erogenous zones and how to enjoy them
  • The art of flirting
  • A little bit of spice (an introduction into sexual experimentation)
  • A lot more spice! (introducing kink)
  • Finding sexual satisfaction with a health challenge or limited mobility
  • The art of sensuality
  • Connecting with your sexuality
  • (Sex) life after children?
  • The art of good kissing
  • Sexual skills for all

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